This weekend, my sister-in-law Tracy, brought a delicious squash dish to our Thanksgiving dinner. Of course, I wanted to know how to make it. After all, using seasonal ingredients is very Martha. When Tracy described the recipe as a "no brainer", I thought, "Well, this is perfect for me." She then proceeded to give me instructions that became increasingly detailed and specific and incredibly vague at the same time. A strange feat - but here is a sample of how the conversation went (with my thoughts in italics):
Tracy: "Just add a "clunk" of butter. A clunk? What the %^$$ is a clunk? Then pack the crap out if with dark brown sugar. Cook it at 350 for about 45 min. to an hour.
Me: What kind of squash did you use? Butternut?
Tracy: Yeah, butternut. You know, the green ones. Umm, green butternut?
Me: You mean acorn?
Tracy: Whatever. The green dudes. Ah, the green dudes. Of course.
Me: So, not butternut?
Tracy: I guess not. Anyway, you have to make sure it's face-up in the baking pan wrapped in foil separately. Like a closed envelope. But sometimes there's a little pointy thing on the bottom, so you have to cut that off first. If you don't cut off the nubbins it will teeter. So dispose of those nipples. After you're done cooking it, open the top of the dude and spoon out the insides. You don't want any green stuff - it's gross. Then, take the brown sugary sauce and dump it all over the top. You'll probably burn yourself. I always do. Great. Can't wait for that part. Did you just say nubbins?
With instructions like that, how can I go wrong? As long as buy the right "dudes" and remember to cut off the "nubbins", measure my "clunk" of butter carefully, and then "pack the crap out it with brown sugar", I should be in good shape.
Heck, I might even pull this one off without burning myself. That's how good I'm getting!
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